Personal improvement
Influence 2
01/03/11 23:49
Is there any possibility of increasing your ability to influence people? Of course there is. Your ability to influence is to a large degree up to you. There are two steps that you can implement to increase your influence.
The first is exhibit genuine care and concern for people. People are not interested in how much you know until they know how much you care. If you can’t remember their names or any details of their lives then you are not going to have much influence upon them. Leaders need to genuinely care for people.
Names are so important in increasing your influence. If you want to see the effect a name has on someone, simply address a retail clerk or the check out cashier with his or hers the next time you are in the store. Their immediate reaction is shock that you know their name and is written all over their faces. They will immediately warm up to you and suddenly lose that stony aloofness and seeming lack of concern for anyone.
You need to re-focus. It’s not about your goals and your achievements. It’s not all about you. They want to know you care about them. Start by getting to know them. Memorize the details. Apparently Napoleon was incredibly effective because he knew so many of his soldiers by name. Ask them questions. If you need a memory aid, write the details down after the conversation. Be attentive and a good listener. By that I mean look at them when they are talking to you. Don’t play a game or fiddle with an app on your phone while listening. You may be more than able to do both but the impression you give is one of disinterest rather than brilliance. Make eye contact, answer with more than one syllable words, and stay relaxed.
Find out what they are really interested in and then ask them about that. People will always agree that you are a great conversationalist when they have done all the talking about what is important to them. Everyone has something that is their passion and all you have to do to become wonderful in their eyes is find it.
When they know you are interested in them, they are open to listening to what you have to say too. You will find your level of influence has increased immensely by caring about people beyond the superficial level of contact.
The first is exhibit genuine care and concern for people. People are not interested in how much you know until they know how much you care. If you can’t remember their names or any details of their lives then you are not going to have much influence upon them. Leaders need to genuinely care for people.
Names are so important in increasing your influence. If you want to see the effect a name has on someone, simply address a retail clerk or the check out cashier with his or hers the next time you are in the store. Their immediate reaction is shock that you know their name and is written all over their faces. They will immediately warm up to you and suddenly lose that stony aloofness and seeming lack of concern for anyone.
You need to re-focus. It’s not about your goals and your achievements. It’s not all about you. They want to know you care about them. Start by getting to know them. Memorize the details. Apparently Napoleon was incredibly effective because he knew so many of his soldiers by name. Ask them questions. If you need a memory aid, write the details down after the conversation. Be attentive and a good listener. By that I mean look at them when they are talking to you. Don’t play a game or fiddle with an app on your phone while listening. You may be more than able to do both but the impression you give is one of disinterest rather than brilliance. Make eye contact, answer with more than one syllable words, and stay relaxed.
Find out what they are really interested in and then ask them about that. People will always agree that you are a great conversationalist when they have done all the talking about what is important to them. Everyone has something that is their passion and all you have to do to become wonderful in their eyes is find it.
When they know you are interested in them, they are open to listening to what you have to say too. You will find your level of influence has increased immensely by caring about people beyond the superficial level of contact.